Fear of Hurt in Relationship
Q. It has been a long time since Ive been in relationship. I want one, but Im afraid to be hurt again. How do I begin?
A. We experience feelings that give us information about ourselves and how close we really do want to get to another. If you approach relationships (with everyone) with awareness, you will notice how you are being treated. You can move at your own pace. Dont let anyone pressure you to do anything you dont feel 100% good about. Get to know the person first, perhaps even before you become sexually intimate. Find out who the person is, if they have the qualities you want in your daily life. Find out if there is a fit. Do you both enjoy similar things, or are you each willing to learn new things so you can play together? Also know that the person you are getting to know has most likely also experienced feeling hurt, and may have similar fears. As you feel safe, you can share more about yourself, and open more of your heart. The truth is, no one is immune from hurt. The best protection against hurt is to allow it. The hurt, believe it or not, is for a purpose. Feel the hurt. Cry it out. Learn the lesson the pain is there to teach you. And make better and better choices in your life. One thing I suggest is to write down the qualities you want in a relationship. See if you have those qualities, and work on polishing them. The person you attract will then be attracted to those qualities in you. See those qualities in people around you, and appreciate them. Notice you are attracting more and more people in your life with the qualities you want in your life. One day you will likely attract to you a Beloved that reflects these qualities. If you are willing to BE all that you WANT, you are on the path to the conscious loving relationship your heart hungers for.
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