Handling a Partner's Criticism
Q. I hate it when Im criticized. How can I get my partner to stop it?
A. No one likes to be criticized. Where is the criticism coming from? Is your partner mad at you? Is your partner asking for change? Is this the way s/he was treated as a kid, and thus learned to be critical? Step back from your own feelings, if you can, and try to analyze your partners behavior. Also, look at yourself and see why it affects you so. Were you overly criticized as a child? Are you doing things you yourself feel bad about, and are you drawing the criticism to you so you will change behavior that needs changing? 1.Ask your partner for some time together where you wont be interrupted and can really talk honestly. 2. Instead of criticizing you, ask your partner to simply state what did not work for him/her, and what s/he would rather you do instead. Whenever possible, accommodate each others wishes as long as you feel in integrity with yourself. 3. Be willing to listen to what your partner says, without reacting. For those who criticize remember, you are criticizing your partner because you want them to change. But because criticism hurts, you have to first deal with feelings that come up within your partner. You are more likely to get the change you want if you simply state the changes you would like to see in a loving and kind way.
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