Husband Fooled Around
Q. My last two husbands both fooled around on me behind my back. I loved them and gave them 110%. I did everything for them. I do my best but its just not enough. Why? Is there something wrong with me? Deeply Hurt
A. Dont blame yourself. The national average of men (and women) who have extramarital relationships is a staggering 60-70%, and that may be low! What does this mean? Some social scientists say it has more to do with our animal instincts than anything. Apparently the genus of monkey-like mammal we humans evolved from was similar to chimpanzees in their behavior. If you ever watch chimpanzees, there is a lot of cross mating that goes on. Im not suggesting that we want to pattern after this! It just may help us understand that there is a strong urge under our civilized exterior that we have to deal with. Even people like the President are not immune! In spite of the fact that there are more couples experiencing extramarital relationships than are strictly monogomous, our society deals harshly with those who do, (or should I say, those who are caught). It often causes breakups and heartbreak. How you choose to deal with your current husbands infidelity is important. You have to know what works for you. Some people can forgive an incident like this. Others cannot. If your relationship has been otherwise good, you may be able to talk this through. You might want to see a counselor together. You also say you gave 110%. Were you also giving to yourself as well as the relationship? No matter how wonderful a relationship you have, make sure you are doing things for yourself. Stay fit. Eat well. Take a class in something youve always wanted to learn. Spend quality time with friends on a regular basis. Get out in nature. Read, write, dance, play music, do art. Make yourself happy. Happiness is attractive. And if your relationship does not work out, your life will be about more than the other person!
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