Wants Out of Relationship
Q. My partner of many years says he's unhappy and wants out of our relationship. I'm sad, scared and don't want him to go. Is there any way to get him to reconsider?
A. Ask your partner to please sit with you and tell you what he is unhappy about. Listen withoutinterrupting and honestly ask yourself and him if you feel there are changes you both can make that can bring happiness back into the relationship. Ask him if he is willing to seek some counseling,before he makes a total break. You must, however, be respectful of his feelings. Don't scream, nag, rage or throw a tantrum. Don't threaten harm to him or yourself. Be present with the truth, whatever it is. Many relationships are merely interactions of convenience running on "cruise control". When one of the partners wakes up to that perception they sometimes want to end the relationship. Sometimes all the things that were not right in the relationship come flooding in and we can't see the good things. Be willing to accept that if he truly doesn't want to be with you, you both need to move on. You don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you! Give thanks for the love you shared. If possible have a ceremony of completion where you wish each other well and realize you both did the best you could. If he does leave, seek counsel for yourself. It is normal to feel sadness and fear when change comes in this way. Be wary of only hanging out with family and friends who want to "make him wrong". Use this time to look at yourself. A breakup is never "one person's fault". In fact, if you can take it out of "fault" altogether, you will get through this much faster. When things like this happen, they happen for a reason. What can you learn from this experience that will make you a better person, and a better partner in the future? How can you take better care of yourself, love yourself more, and be more sensitive to the energies around you? What do you need to learn about how to nurture relationship? How can you make a better choice of a partner for yourself? Breakups happen to most people at some time or other. It is not the end of the world. It is the end of that chapter. If you do the work on yourself you need to do, your next relationship will be more conscious, more evolved and give you more of what you need. Use this as an opportunity to make a quantum leap for yourself. Join a gym. Take a new class. Do something really good for you. Make your life work, with or without this person in your life. Most importantly, entertain the possibility that the Universe may have something even better waiting for you!
|
|
